A growing share of older Americans are entering retirement with substantial wealth — yet most remain reluctant to tell their adult children what they will eventually inherit. That hesitation, long embedded in American financial culture, may now be colliding with the realities of the largest wealth transfer in modern history. According to Fidelity Investments’ 2025 Family and Finance Study, 68% of parents aged 55 and older with at least $500,000 in investable assets have not discussed inheritance specifics with their children. For many advisors, that silence poses significant risks, particularly as family wealth becomes more complex and expectations more sensitive.

A Reluctance Rooted in Fear and Family Dynamics

Advisors say the primary reason retirees avoid inheritance conversations is emotional rather than financial. Many fear the discussion will demotivate children, create entitlement, or expose long-standing family tensions. Others simply dislike talking about money at all, according to financial planner Mitchell Kraus of Capital Intelligence Associates. Yet specialists agree that withholding information often causes far greater challenges after a parent’s death, when heirs must navigate both grief and logistical complexity.

A key point of strain arises when inheritances are uneven. Advisors note that even well-intentioned imbalances — such as supporting a child with higher medical needs or acknowledging one who provided caregiving — can become flashpoints if not discussed earlier. “When parents explain the thinking behind their decisions, adult children almost always respond better,” Kraus said. Without that context, conflicts tend to erupt when it is too late for clarification.

A Historic Wealth Transfer Raises the Stakes

The scale of the coming wealth transfer makes communication more critical than ever. Baby boomers and older generations are expected to pass down $124 trillion between 2024 and 2048, according to Cerulli Associates. Roughly $105 trillion is projected to go directly to heirs. More than half will come from households with at least $5 million in investable assets, meaning families with significant complexity — trusts, property portfolios, investment accounts, and charitable plans — are at the centre of this transition.

Yet while 95% of adult children say they feel prepared to manage inherited wealth, one-quarter of their parents disagree, creating a disconnect that may complicate future financial decisions.

How Much Should Parents Actually Share?

Experts do not recommend handing over spreadsheets. Instead, advisors encourage families to outline the structure of their estate plan — who receives what proportion, who has power of attorney, where documents are stored, and which professionals to contact. “You can keep the exact numbers private,” said K.C. Smith of Henssler Financial. “What matters is clarity about the framework.”

There are exceptions. If parents are still financially supporting an adult child, discussing expected inheritance may reinforce dependency, according to advisor David Kozlowski. In such cases, the priority remains fostering independence before disclosures.

Advisors also caution that numbers shared today may not reflect the realities decades ahead. Markets shift, medical needs evolve, and life expectancy continues to expand. For this reason, general ranges or proportional explanations often strike a more appropriate balance.

Looking Ahead

As Americans prepare for an unprecedented intergenerational transfer of wealth, the conversation between retirees and their adult children is becoming a crucial element of responsible estate planning. While exact figures need not be revealed, advisors emphasize that transparency about intentions and structure can prevent misunderstandings, reduce emotional fallout, and ensure that assets serve their intended purpose. In an era defined by demographic change and rising financial complexity, families who communicate early may ultimately preserve both wealth and relationships.